Award

This cute little award was given to me by Virginia over at Small Reflections.

She must have known I like the old fashioned cloudy lemonade just right when you are watching tennis (like me she's a fan).

I was disappointed for Laura Robson (15 yr old British girl) who lost in the junior girls event of Australian Open. Laura seemed to cope well with her disappointment and I'm sure she will bounce back and do well in the future.

Oh, nearly forgot I pass the award on to any lemonade lover who happens to drop in; and a big thank you to Virginia :)

Archives:
2008: Thankful Thursday + Meeting Michael Jeneid
2007: Where have I been today

Meme 6th of 6th of 6th

Recently I've seen this photo Meme on several of the blogs that I read regularly. So when Pamela threw it open to all her readers, curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to see what picture I would find.

Photo meme 6th of 6th of 6th

HERE ARE THE RULES:

1.Go to your Picture Folder on your computer or wherever you store your pictures.

2.Go to the 6th Folder, then pick the 6th picture in that folder.

3.Post that picture on your blog and the story that goes along with the picture.

4.Tag 6 other peoples that you know or don’t know to do the same thing and leave a comment on their blog or an e-mail letting them know you chose them.

Now following the rules this is what I found. I do believe I've shared this one before it was taken almost three years ago.

I'm glad it turned out to be some of my favourite people! There is no story but I took it while they were staying here during a summer visit.

I'm not tagging anyone but if you have a gap to fill it's a good one to do!

Archives:
2007: Witty Wednesday-35
2007: Food Cooperative cont.

Meme = 5 Projects (+1) and an award

When Rantz came up with an idea for a new meme I did not volunteer to be tagged. I thought, smugly, that I would just sit back and enjoy reading what others were doing. Little did I realise that, Wendy who volunteered and immediately set about the task, would be tagging me!

This is setting yourself 5 Projects (+1) defining those projects and then tagging 5 people to do the same. (+1 being regular updates).

I know there are numerous things I should be doing but actually putting it in writing means I have to get them done, because the catch for this Meme is I will have to admit it in the updates and Rantz will be playing *big brother* by tracking. Now as far as I'm aware there is no set time for updating-phew!

I have been pondering my priorities for a few days and this is what I have decided:

1 Purchase the G.I. Diet Express- will try Amazon for this-then try and change my *bad* eating habits.

2 Start taking a daily walk again- haven't done this since I retired. Prior to this I walked just a mile around the block at 6am every morning before work. Now I have no intention of getting up that early but I do intend to walk daily. I suppose this one is really related to the first one.

3 Clear out and reorganise our large cellar room- I have already got Embee to agree that we start this task over the Easter holiday. He's even planning to take an extra couple of days off work.

4 Knit bed socks before next winter-don't laugh I haven't done any knitting for years but I do still have all my needles.

5 Put the family history into some format that can be passed on to my children and grand children-I think this might take me longer than I anticipate, but we'll see.

+1 Provide regular updates- this will be as and when!!

Now I have to tag five friends:

Little Wanderer who will be going on holiday to the sun in 5 weeks-she can contemplate her projects while she is away!

Steffi who is a brilliant dressmaker and always has lots of sewing projects up her sleeve!

Daffy who I feel sure will be able to come up with a few ideas to follow through, she sees some interesting birds in her garden and reads a lot of good books some of which get passed on to lucky me!

Marmite Toasty because she writes such funny posts and I'm sure, if she accepts the tag, she would think up some hilarious projects.

Little Miss Moi who now has Little Miss Sproglet, now there must be lots of projects she wants to do while getting through winter in Kiev/Kyiv!

A couple of days after getting the meme Wendy created this little award for me-now I wonder if she will still think my blog is interesting after she sees my project list!
I love having my own personal award so thanks a million Wendy x

I'd better log into Amazon now and see if I can order the BOOK!!!!!!!!

Archives:
2008: 500 Posts Later
2007: Fun Monday-Pictorial View growing up after the war

Witty Wednesday # 82

From Embee:

A man met a beautiful lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away.
She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.'

He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.'
So she consented; they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort.

One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

She said, 'That was incredible!'

He said, 'I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along.'

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths. After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath.

He said, 'That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?'

'No,' she said, 'I was a prostitute in Liverpool, but I worked both sides of the Mersey .
******************************
Scotsman & Englishman

There's a Scotsman driving through Europe and an Englishman driving in the opposite direction. In the middle of the night, with no other cars on the road, they collide head on and both cars go flying off in different
directions.

The Scotsman manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, 'Jesus, I am really lucky to be alive!' Likewise, the Englishman scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, 'I can't believe I survived this wreck!'

The Englishman walks over to the Scotsman and says, 'You know, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of such rivals.'

The Scotsman thinks for a moment and says, 'You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived the wreck.

So, the Scotsman pops open his boot and finds a full unopened bottle of Whisky. He says to the English fella, 'I think this is another sign from
God that we toast to our new found understanding and friendship'

The Englishman says, 'You're damn right!' and he grabs the bottle and
starts sucking down the Whisky. After putting away nearly half the bottle, the Englishman hands it back to the Scotsman and says, 'Your turn!'

The Scotsman twists the cap back on the bottle and says, 'Nah, I think
I'll wait for the police to show up.'

That's it for today folks have a good day.

Archives:
2008: Fun Monday-51 My bedside drawers
2007: Old Haunts Re-visited

Hotter Comfort Concept your service sucks!

I did something last week that I am now regretting. I gave in and ordered a pair of ankle boots, from this company, over the telephone. My mother buys all her shoes from this company and as the pair I wanted was in the sale I decided to give it a try. When I rang to place my order I discussed whether I needed extra width but was advised that they were very generous so I decided to go with the standard fit.
You know what's coming...they arrived yesterday; they were quite narrow and, therefore, were far too tight. I searched the box for return instructions and all I could find was a telephone number to ring and arrange for collecting.
Seems simple enough-wrong no one seems to be answering the phone. I tried several times this morning. I timed three of my calls before I put the phone down 20mins, 7 mins and 20 mins. The frustration at listening to that music and a stupid woman saying *all our operators are busy*......
I waited until after lunch and decided to try the sales telephone number which gave an link to enquiries... now we're getting somewhere....wrong another 20 min wait before my call is answered. My opening words to the poor operator were "do you know how long I have been waiting" she replied "I imagine it's a long time we have been very busy today"!

I explained I wanted to arrange return collection and she said "actually this service is being phased out at the end of the week and all returns need to be posted back". "Do you have a return label" she asked. "No or I might not have bothered hanging on the phone for so long and opted to do that anyway" I replied. "I'll put one in the post to you" says she.

Now I don't know about you but I would have thought knowing that as the policy for returns was changing, this information would have been included, together with a return label, in the original package. This would save the company time, be good communication and build on customer relations. Instead I feel stressed and annoyed and will certainly think twice about ordering from them again, and I expect they have a lot of operators who are fed up with customers complaining about waiting for calls to be answered.

I have just looked through the catalogue and I see in very small print they do mention that they are changing their policy on returns. It says if you can't decide on an alternative, refunds will be made minus £2:20 for postage and processing. The cynical me thinks the change in policy is more to do with making money than anything else.

P.S
As they have the wider fitting boots in stock I am going to exchange but I think this might be my one and only order to Hotter even though I quite like their shoes.

Archives:
2008: De-Young Fine Arts Museum
2007: Shop Til We Drop

Fun Monday # 100 Diets!!!!

Today Grace is our hostess with the mostest and this is what she is asking of us:

Many people make resolutions during the month of January and they usually include diets/eating healthy/losing weight and all that good stuff. I myself decided to try the Weight Watchers. My assignment is to tell us about a diet or two (Atkins, Sonoma, Weight Watchers, South Beach, the You on a Diet, Best Life, The Abs Diet etc) that you have tried and what you liked or did not like about it. You can tell us about one diet that you had so much success with, or another that was a torture to follow or both.

My weight problem started from birth so I blame my mother-I was fed on cows milk from a very early age-yes straight from the cow. Plus I'm told my grampy used to wake me up to give me chocolate when he came home from the pub late at night. I didn't stand a chance...

Like many people I have tried a few diets such as high protein, cabbage diet, but none were very successful because, of course,as soon as you ease off the weight just piles on with interest (a bit like a loan really).

The best diet for me was when my first husband walked out on us (not that I'm suggesting this method of slimming). However at that time, I just didn't feel hungry and I couldn't eat much for ages and the weight just dropped off me. I dropped a couple of dress sizes in no time at all. I managed to keep it off for quite a few years, it helped that I played tennis, I used to exercise and, quite often, walk 4 miles to work. Then I changed jobs, I was sitting around a lot more and we often took in baking for coffee time and you've guessed it the pounds crept back.

One thing I have tried that really does work is detoxing and completely changing the way you eat.
I think it was back in about 2002 that I tried my first Detox retreat mainly because one of my friends was keen to go and she wanted some company. We went to a farm in Devon and followed a very strict regime for a week, that included this. We also learned about food and how eating raw food was much better for the body to process. I followed all the preparation advice for the month before we went. It was not nearly as difficult as I imagined to not eat for a week. We went swimming everyday and I took walks, although lots of the others did not have the energy to get out of bed. We could also book treatments and I had a couple of lovely massages.

It was having the first small meal of raw fruit and veg at the end of the week that made me realise how delicious tomatoes could be-before this I did not like raw tomatoes. I felt incredibly healthy and my skin and hair had improved. I had lost quite a few pounds as well. When I got home I was determined to keep up eating only raw food. I managed it for a few months but then came Christmas and that was my undoing. I did go on another retreat the following year but second time around I was less enthusiastic.

Dieting really doesn't work it's sensible eating and cutting out all the rubbish that has to be a way of life. For the last couple of years I've not been strong willed enough to stick to sensible eating. Doing this post has really made me think that I need to take myself in hand and make a determined effort to eat a lot more raw food and no junk.

For Photo assignment, Grace asks that we post a photo of something/someone that makes you feel good about yourself.
No prizes for guessing it's my family who make me happy.

Archives:
2008: I nearly didn't join the party + Keepng Sam Company

2007: A huge Thank you +Sleeping Beauty

I'm so excited

Surprise, surprise! Your Birthday gift this year will be an...




Hope you don't mind being a little patient, it should be ready for you to pick up on your next visit to Ireland...
Lots of love from Mike, Beccy, Sam, Joules, Fred, Dillon, Mollie & Ben xxx

Have a great Birthday!
xxxxxxxx

I found this email when I got up this morning so I expect you can guess why I'm excited, don't I have the best family in the world. They are making sure I have a memorable three score years plus five.
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH XXXX

Oh and if you still haven't worked it out this is what my grandson drew in my birthday card (me on the plane).

I share my birthday with the great Robbie Burns, today there will be celebrations for his 250th anniversary all over the world, but especially in Scotland. I do like haggis but it won't be on our menu today. Happy Burns Day.

Archives:
2008: I'm so lucky
Archives:
2007: Who's the Birthday Girl

Saturday Trivia # 2

Some more useless information I stumbled upon.

ANIMALS:

A hedgehog's heart beats 190 times a minute on average and drops to only 20 beats per minute during hibernation.

An average beaver can cut down two hundred trees a year.

An average pig squeals at a range from 100 to 115 decibels.

Average calories burned daily by the sled dogs running in Alaska's annual Iditarod race: 10,000.

Average number of eggs laid by the female American Oyster per year: 500 million. Usually only one oyster out of the bunch reaches maturity.

Average number of hummingbirds required to create the weight of 1 ounce: 18.

Average number of squirts from a cow's udder needed to yield a gallon of milk : 345.

Cats average 16 hours of sleep a day, more than any other mammal.


HUMANS:

During pregnancy, the average woman's uterus expands up to five hundred times its normal size.

Every square inch of the human body has an average of 32 million bacteria on it.

Humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour - about 1.5 pounds a year. By 70 years of age, an average person will have lost 105 pounds of skin.

By age sixty, most people have lost half of their taste buds. (now I know why I can't have just one square of chocolate)

The brain is soft and gelatinous - its consistency is something between jelly and cooked pasta.

The largest cell in the human body is the female ovum, or egg cell. It is about 1/180 inch in diameter. The smallest cell in the human body is the male sperm. It takes about 175,000 sperm cells to weigh as much as a single egg cell.

The permanent teeth that erupt to replace their primary predecessors (baby teeth) are called succedaneous teeth.

There are 45 miles of nerves in the skin of a human being.

AND

The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours is.

Have a great weekend.

Archives:
2008: Thankful Thursday
2007: Before and After

What Breed of Dog are you!

I saw this over at Happily Retired Girl and of course I had to have a go.

You Are an American Bulldog

You are a very imposing, powerful creature... but deep down, you're generally good natured. You are incredibly energetic, and you like to blow off steam with sports and horsing around. You are naturally courageous. You would run into a burning building to save someone you loved. You intimidate people without trying to. Some people assume the worst of you when they first meet you.

What Breed of Dog Are You?

I would never ever see myself as an *American Bulldog* however some of that might be near the truth!
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I know this is a strange topic combination in one post but as I haven't mentioned food for a while I wanted to share a meal we had earlier in the week:

I don't do new year resolutions but I decided that I would start the year off by using up some of the food that has been forgotten stored in my chest freezer. I found some salmon steaks that had been in there a lot little longer than recommended. I knew they would not taste that good so I decided to make them into fishcakes and thought with seasoning they might be passable.
Now I know what you are thinking that's a pretty big fishcake. To be honest once I had mixed everything together, I changed my mind as I thought fish pie would be an easier option. I'll admit it was not the best meal I've ever made but Embee ate it without complaining. Now I wonder what I'll use up next time!
In case you are wondering there is no recipe- you can add whatever you fancy. I put in some fresh parsley, corn and topped with cheese sauce.

Archives:
2008: Witty Wednesday-34
2007: Guilty Secret

This and That!!

The weather was very windy last weekend and when I dew back the curtains on Sunday morning I noticed a piece of guttering amongst the shrubs.
My heart sank because I envisaged having to get scaffolding erected and the £££ signs were dancing in front of my eyes!
Once we went outside to have a look, we were able to breathe a sigh of relief as it was not from our house. It came from our neighbour's house. They run a B&B; Embee went round to break the bad news and when I came home from shopping the following day this is what I saw. Luckily he is a builder so will be able to fix it himself!
I have just been along the street to the bank and I see my neighbour is up there fixing it. I bet he's finding it cold but at least it isn't raining!

TO DO OR NOT TO DO
I have a little dilemma which is whether or not to replace our heating boiler. I've had the engineer here this morning doing the annual service. He didn't find anything wrong and he can still get parts for this model. So far so good. However, if it begins to leak water that's when it cannot be mended. Now given that this boiler is about 27 years old it could decide to expire at any time.

This is where the fun would begin as there are lots of new regulations regarding heating boilers, so it would not, necessarily, be a straight swap. Apparently I could get like for like, as they are available, but I would have to prove why I couldn't meet the new regulations and get a special certificate for selling the house. Seems OK but these boilers are not as efficient as the more modern ones (which incidentally are only made to last 15 years).

For an upgrade, it would cost a fortune to replace the boiler in the same position as it is now, as it is unlikely that the flue is properly lined and it would be impossible to vent it to the outside. It would involve scaffolding and extra pumps, at this point it got a bit too technical for me!!

The third option would be to re-site the boiler to the cellar where it could go against an outside wall for venting, and install a radiator in the breakfast room where the boiler currently sits in the old fire place. This would probably be the best option as it would keep the cellar warmer and overall help keep the house warmer. I think this would also be quite costly.

Of course as the guy said "if you are considering moving in the next five years do nothing and hope it keeps going then it's not your problem".
We have no plans to move at the moment but there will be a point when we have to downsize so that has to come into the equation. The other thing I'm thinking is.... if we have this work done I might not be able to afford to travel.... and how would I feel about that as I still have a long bucket list!!

So Embee and I have to discuss the options and make a decision. Best not to do these things in a hurry so he can read this and ponder it while he's at work!!!

I'm sure none of this is of any interest to anyone but us....but should you have an opinion I would love to hear it.

Archives:
2008: Excellent Award
2007: First ever Fun Mon-View from my front porch door

Witty Wednesday # 81.......plus Fishworks demise

Thank you Daffy for today's entertainment:

TO ALL MY DEAREST FRIENDS
I'M SO GLAD I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS!

The correct way to weigh yourself:

I can't believe I was doing it wrong all these years.

WE MUST SPREAD THE WORD.

**********************
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...
I DID IT RIGHT
THE FIRST TIME


COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN.
SOME THINGS ARE JUST
BETTER RICH

***************************

***************************
Have a fun day!

Postscript mainly for Sam and Beccy. Just heard Fishworks has gone into liquidation. Some of you might remember my fish post from last summer when we had a lovely lunch there on a visit to Bath.

Archives:
2008: Fun Mon-50 1st Anniversary

The Worm Works (Original Organics Composting Worm System) # 1

You may recall last Friday that I ordered and was eagerly awaiting the arrival of my Worm Works, composting system.
Yesterday by the time I got up at 7:30am this parcel had been left on my doorstep. You may wonder what prompted me to try this method of composting as opposed to going the traditional route. Well we tried that and as we don't have a very big garden it didn't really work, it was smelly and a rat found it very welcoming and set up home there. So after we got rid of the rat we also stopped using the compost bin. Worm composting seemed to be the answer so here I am giving it a try. It better work because the kit was quite expensive!
This is what was in the box to get me started. You can't see very well because of the reflection, but you get three bags of live Tiger worms, a coir brick (becomes bedding for the worms-sounds like they are to be pampered pets!), shredded newspaper, and a bag of lime mix (to reduce acidity and keep conditions sweet-egg shells apparently have the same affect).
All this would be no good without some instructions!
I chose to have the deluxe version which included a compost caddy and a book on composting with worms. It also gave me free posting and a guaranteed delivery date. Although I already had a compost caddy this one is slightly larger, and this offer actually worked out to be the best value for money.
The instructions were clear and I managed to put it together quite easily, and I was very keen to get the worms bedded down as quickly as possible.
It was fascinating to see the coir expanding before my eyes. I'm so glad I put it into a large mixing bowl, because it was completely full. After an hour I was able to wring out the excessive water (I put it onto newspaper) and add the other ingredients to make the worms bed. See below:

The lid has feeding instructions printed on it. I was quite worried reading that they get stressed and it my take them a while to settle. I decided to keep the wormery in the porch, but there is no heating and it was pretty cold last night, so my fear was it would drop below 5c. Now according to the instructions you leave them for three days and then check that there are worms around the food. Well curiosity got the better of me and I decided to peep under the lid this morning. Lo and behold there were worms crawling everywhere, as you can see below. What I don't understand is why they were not down where it was snug and warm and where the food was!


Original Organics the company in Devon who supplied this kit also included an extra little gift for me and a lovely little note saying they had seen my blog, so had sent me a bag for my collection-how cool is that! Or should I be worried that when I search the internet I can be so easily traced!Beccy loves these string bags for her vegetables so now I can try one out for myself. Thank you Original Organics.

So I now hope that the worms will thrive in their new environment.

Several of you have expressed an interest in my new obsession so I thought I might do the occasional update to let you know how I get on.

Archives:
2008: Electronic Arts Redwood City
2007: Don't you just love Garfield

Fun Monday # 99 2nd Anniversary Edition

Fun Monday has been running for two years now and I'm sure when Vikki and Willowtree spawned the idea they did not imagine that it would become a weekly staple for many of us.

Julie over at Another Chance Ranch is our delightful host for this anniversary edition of Fun Monday and she is taking us back to it's roots. This is what she says:

"I have decided to put a twist on the traditional Fun Monday. Instead of standing in your front door and taking a photo of what you see outside, let's turn around and take on of the inside".

Now, I'm letting you see things as they are, even though you will see my muddles and junk.
This is looking into my front porch, lots of shoes, some towels in case it's very wet, my mother's walker and a few plants. You can see the edge of a step ladder that I hate having in full view, but it's handy to grab in an emergency and Embee likes to keep it there.
I know many of you will have seen my hallway, but this is what you see when you enter the house. I couldn't get everything in but it's just a few chairs and a hall tallboy(not in view). The unit you can see belongs to my daughter, (there is a story to it but I won't bore you with it here), and I had nowhere else to put it!
Either side of the hall I have paintings and plate racks to display some of my blue and white china.

FM-21 What hangs on my wall

I wonder if we can keep Fun Monday going for another year! Head over to Julie to see who else is letting us view inside their front door.

Archives:
2008: Crouching Spider Sculpture
2007: Pink Saucepans

Unusual Playmates!

I love Norbert Rosing's striking images of a wild polar bear meeting tethered huskies in the wilds of Canada's Hudson Bay. Thank you Daffy for sharing these with me. Take a look here for a short video which shows clearer pictures.







The photographer was sure that he was going to see the end of his dogs when the polar bear wandered in, but...

The Polar Bear apparently returned every night that week to play with the dogs.
I think these are amazing shots that Norbert Rosing captured, it must have been brilliant to see it close up.

Archives:
2008: Surprize!
2007: Gale Force Winds

Saturday Trivia #1

I quite enjoy reading trivia, not that I remember much of it. I thought I would just share a few things I unearthed today about humanity:

General "people" facts

Our Lifetime in Numbers

Life expectancy – 78.5 years or 2,475,576,000 seconds-(I hope I make this age!)
Words Spoken in Lifetime - 123,205,750 (wow!)
Friendships – 1,700
Baths – 7,163
Dreams – 104,390
Beef and Veal consumed – 4.5 cows per person
Chickens consumed – 1,201 per person
Potatoes consumed – 5130 pounds
Chocolate – 10,354 bars (seems a lot but I do like choc!)
Baked Beans – 845 cans
Farts – 35,815 liters of wind (I could name someone who might do better than this!)
Soap – 656 bars
Toothpaste – 276 tubes
Deodorant – 272 cans
Shampoo – 198 bottles
Beer – 10,351 pints (don't drink beer)
Wine – 1,694 bottles (but enjoy wine!)
Vomit produced – 149 liters (yuk!)
Sex – 4,239 times (who counts!)
Holidays - 59 trips (wonder if I will make that many in my life time)

So what do you think???
*******************************
More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.(well I never that's a surprise!)

Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.(I agree I always write my name!)

Over 80% of professional boxers have suffered brain damage. (I would have thought it might have been higher-not a fan of boxing)

Texas was one of the first states to adopt capital punishment by lethal injection -- in 1977.

The ashes of the average cremated person weigh nine pounds. (I think I might be heavier than average!)

The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.(I'm surprised that seems a lot!)

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.(interesting can't time myself!)

The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.(I wonder why!)

The average person laughs about 15 times a day. (laughing is good for health)

I found a lot more but I thought this was enough for today.

Whatever you are doing enjoy the rest of your weekend

Archives:
2008: Ferry Building Marketplace (San Fransisco)
2007: What a coincidence-I wonder if it's a sign!

Why can't I wait for Monday?

I'm really excited because I've just ordered one of these and it arrives on Monday. I'm not going to say anything more because I'm sure I will be mentioning it again next week.
However, I wonder if anyone else has one and if so are they successful??

PS Embee if you read this I hope you are going halves with me!!

Archives:
2008: Witty Wednesday-33
2007: Baked Salmon Papillote

Is it too late....

....to save my geranium!...I have been worried that this geranium which was beautiful last summer when it was in full bloom, would not survive outside. Himself insisted that it was OK because it was still flowering until last week. I was not convinced that it should remain out any longer.
We have had terrible frosts and it looked really sorry for itself today, even though there still appears to be a few green leaves. I will be very upset if it does not survive-last year it wintered in our front porch which worked well.

Archives:
2008: Tesco Update
2007: Hosting the Food Cooperative Meeting

Witty Wednesday # 80-Spell Check and Corny!

Thank you Daffy for sending me these:

SPELL CHECKER!

I halve a spelling checker,
It came with my pea see.
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I dew knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait aweigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the era rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

I've scent this massage threw it,
And I'm shore your pleased too no
Its letter prefect in every weigh;
My checker tolled me sew.

*******************************
If you like corny read on!!!!

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'
-----------------------
This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.
------------------------
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.'
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I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'
----------------------------
I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best before End'
---------------------------
I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said 'No, just a watch.'
------------------------------
I went into a shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle.' The bloke said 'Kenwood' I said, 'Where is he then?'
--------------------------
My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bi-satchel.
------------------------
I went to the doctor. I said to him 'I'm frightened of lapels.' He said, 'You've got cholera.'
---------------------------
I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, its P something T something R.
----------------------------
I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down.
----------------------------
I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on.
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The recruitment consultant asked me 'What do you think of voluntary work? I said 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me.'
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I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, 'You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana.' He said, 'No, this is for the custard.'
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This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, 'I want you to trace someone for me.'
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I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me on?' I said, 'Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.'
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I phoned the local builders today, I said to them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?' He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'
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This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!'
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I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo' He said 'You're closest'
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I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said 'I careered off the road'
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I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.
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I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
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I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.
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I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'
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I went to the local video shop and I said, 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?' He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow'
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A waiter asks a man, 'May I take your order, sir?' 'Yes,' the man replies. 'I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?' 'Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die.'

Have a Happy Day.

Archives:
2008: Fun Monday-49
2007: Help I've been tagged!

I love surprises !

This morning when my doorbell rang I saw the postman with some mail and a parcel. I was quite surprised to see the parcel was for me; it's my mother who is forever ordering clothes, which I then have to return when they don't fit or aren't suitable.

When I looked it was addresses to me! Then when I opened the parcel I found it was a gift, of two customized tote bags, from Sam. She has used significant dates and family names to create the logo on the bag. It is a really novel idea from The Craft Pantry and I love these bags. Now that I no longer use plastic bags I am getting a wonderful collection of tote bags to use instead.
These are really strong canvass bags and they are eco friendly.

Thank you very much Sam, now I need to go shopping to use them! xxxx

Archives:
2008: Meme

Fun Monday # 98 Quirky or Weird??

First of all I would like to thank you all for all the kind comments about my back it certainly is a lot more comfortable today, so hopefully on the mend.

I know I said that I might be late getting my FM post but I didn't actually dream it would be this late. For some reason my photos (edited in Photoshop Elements) would not upload-kept getting internal error. It's taken me hours to get it sorted! So to the task....

This week Jan asks us:

What is the quirkiest thing in your home that you will never give away?

Now I'm sure we will all have our own ideas on what is quirky. I'll let you be the judge of the things I'm going to show! I bet you will think it's weird rather than quirky, with a couple of unusual items thrown in.
OK here are four items for you to wonder what they contain!!!!
If you look below the answer is revealed!

You would be right in thinking the old leather manicure set has seen better days. It belonged to my grandmother and as a teenager I spent a long time trying to buff my nails until they shone as I was not allowed to wear nail polish.

The little green box (could be Bakelite)contains an early Ever Ready razor. I'm not sure if it belonged to my father or my grandfather but it's just something I've always kept, in case it became a collectible.

The other items are my daughter's teeth- see said I was weird and I have to keep them because no one else would want them. I'm also showing you a couple of the letters that Sam wrote to the fairies. I think they are so sweet. When Beccy had her wisdom teeth out they just got added to the pot.

The final item below is an earthenwear hot water bottle that I used as a child. I can tell you they would be very hot but it was wrapped in an old pillowcase to stop feet being burned. I still remember using this well into the 60's for airing beds and I now keep as an ornament. I believe I've shown it before in a previous FM.

So that's my lot for today. I don't know about you but I like the 'show and tell' challenges as this was the original intention of FM to satisfy all the nosy interested people like me so you all over the next couple of days.

P.S the photos will enlarge if you click-not that I necessarily think you will want a closer look LOL.

Archives:
2008: Snow was here
2007: Why does exercise always make you feel hungry