Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Witty Wednesday # 34


From embee
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school Playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.
"Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane..."
At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."
Mommy fainted!

Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the
whole story before you interrupt!

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Also one of Embee's

Two elderly academics were talking in the saloon one said to the other 'have you read Marx?' 'Yes' said the other 'its these darned wicker chairs!'
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A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and the make such an obvious error, he replied

"Monsieur that is the reason I stole the paintings.




I had no Monet

to buy Degas

to make the Van Gogh"

See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else.

I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.
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Smile and the world smiles with you :)

Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. What do we live for if not to make the world less difficult for each other?

Author: George Eliot

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26 Comments:

At 23/1/08 00:04, Blogger Sandy said...

The Louvre? Had me groaning out loud! Very clever.

I had heard about Aunt Jane before but it still made me laugh. Thank you.

 
At 23/1/08 00:53, Blogger Willowtree said...

I stand by my previous comment!

 
At 23/1/08 00:53, Blogger Beckie said...

The first one is great! I read it to my husband - he is always interrupting the kids when they are telling a story.

I am soaking some stains in vinegar as I write this - I will let you know if it works.

 
At 23/1/08 01:47, Blogger Lil Mouse said...

HA HAH A love the little johnny story.

 
At 23/1/08 03:37, Blogger kitten said...

That 1st was a hoot. The 2nd was very cleaver! Just Love it!

 
At 23/1/08 04:43, Blogger bermudabluez said...

hahahahahah! Very good!

 
At 23/1/08 05:16, Blogger Kila said...

Thanks for the laughs!

 
At 23/1/08 09:16, OpenID grannymar said...

Thanks Chris, with laughter in my soul I am off to do my chores.

 
At 23/1/08 09:22, Blogger Steffi said...

Very good post,Chris!

 
At 23/1/08 09:40, Anonymous Misslionheart♥ said...

Isn't it good to laugh first thing in the morning? lol

I'm back from Vegas, so have a guess what my WW is about!

Have a great Wednesday..........

 
At 23/1/08 10:25, Blogger Beccy said...

The louvre was very good!, Love little Johnny.

 
At 23/1/08 10:28, Blogger The very nice man said...

Haha!! Utter brilliance! That cheered us all up!
Thanks!
By the way . . . I hear your summer holiday is taken care of!!

 
At 23/1/08 11:14, Blogger ChrisB said...

WT did you see my response to that comment~ so I'm waiting!!!!!

Misslionheart I will be over soon

Erik just got to book flights and that's us sorted!

 
At 23/1/08 13:32, Blogger Robocop said...

That first joke killed me.**LOL**

 
At 23/1/08 13:33, Blogger Asha said...

Hahaha!! Serves her right!! Can't throw stones at others when you live in a glass house yourself!!

 
At 23/1/08 14:36, Blogger Peter said...

Good jokes there Chris.

 
At 23/1/08 14:43, Anonymous swampy said...

I'm smiling. Actually, laughing at the Aunt/Uncle story.

 
At 23/1/08 14:57, Anonymous daffy said...

hah, what a great post. A good tea break read on thi srather slow Wednesday afternoon! :o)

 
At 23/1/08 15:01, Blogger thefoodsnob said...

Thanks, Chris, I needed a smile.

Lisa

 
At 23/1/08 15:51, Blogger john.g. said...

DOH! Or to repeat you............Groan!! lol.

 
At 23/1/08 16:32, Blogger lisa's chaos said...

I loved all of these!!!!! I always like your funnies but all of these are the best!

 
At 23/1/08 16:41, Blogger ChrisB said...

Hi everyone I think Embee did rather well for me this week, and Peter has just sent a good follow up for next week!

 
At 23/1/08 18:50, Anonymous Christine said...

The first one, had me laughing, I'll have to tell that one to my husband.

And the second one was really good!

 
At 23/1/08 18:52, OpenID eclecticblog said...

Good laugh this morning! Thanks! I copied them and e-mailed them to a friend who could use some laughs right now!!

 
At 23/1/08 20:02, Blogger Alison said...

Those are great!! I love all of them, but especially the first one!!

 
At 23/1/08 23:44, Blogger Joy T. said...

LOLOL just what I needed today!!

 

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