The Dentist
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they. Decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says "Yes... How did you figure that out?" "Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they're done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist." The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, how did you figure that out?" "I Didn't feel a thing!"
Beccy has reminded me that she has already published his second joke so apologies and I have added another.
To Be Frank
A man walks into the street and the rain, and immediately manages to hail a cruising taxi just about to pass by. He tells the driver his destination, gets into the taxi and the cabbie says “Perfect timing, just like Frank”.
The man says “Who?”
Cabbie : “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy that did everything right – all the time. Like I was passing, just as you came out of that building there. Things like that always happened to Frank Feldman”
Passenger : “Well there must be some clouds in everyone’s life, surely?”
Cabbie : “Not with Frank Feldman! He was a great athlete too. Could have won a tennis Grand Slam, played golf with the pros, anything. He sang like Sinatra, danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano. Sensational! What a guy, eh?”
Passenger : “Sounds like he was someone really special, then”
Cabbie : “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He’d remember everyone’s birthday or anniversary. He knew all about dining out, which wines to order, which cutlery to use, all that stuff. And he could fix
anything, he was an expert electrician, carpenter, plumber and so on. Me, I change a fuse and it knocks out all the lighting in the street. Not Frank Feldman, he got everything right”.
Passenger : “Wow, some guy then!”
Cabbie : “And he always knew the quickest way to get from A to B, avoiding traffic jams, not like me. I always seem to get stuck in them”.
Passenger : “Mmmm. There aren’t many like him around”.
Cabbie : “And he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back, even when she was wrong. He was always immaculately dressed, too. Shoes always polished, clothes always exactly right for the occasion – he was just the perfect gentleman. Never made a mistake. Nobody could ever measure up to Frank Feldman”.
Passenger : “An amazing fellow! How did you meet him?”
Cabbie : “Well, I never actually met Frank”
Passenger : “Well, how do you know so much about him, then?”
Cabbie : “Because I married his widow, that’s how”.Hope this started your day with a bit of a giggle- me I'm off doggy walking in the rain!!
This is the post script jokeThe FrogA guy is 71 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."
He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?"
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.
Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
I got this one from Embee!!
Labels: dentist, Frank, frog, joke
