Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Witty Wednesday # 7 The Dentist and Frank!

The Dentist
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they. Decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says "Yes... How did you figure that out?" "Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they're done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist." The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, how did you figure that out?" "I Didn't feel a thing!"

Beccy has reminded me that she has already published his second joke so apologies and I have added another.

To Be Frank
A man walks into the street and the rain, and immediately manages to hail a cruising taxi just about to pass by. He tells the driver his destination, gets into the taxi and the cabbie says “Perfect timing, just like Frank”.

The man says “Who?”

Cabbie : “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy that did everything right – all the time. Like I was passing, just as you came out of that building there. Things like that always happened to Frank Feldman”

Passenger : “Well there must be some clouds in everyone’s life, surely?”

Cabbie : “Not with Frank Feldman! He was a great athlete too. Could have won a tennis Grand Slam, played golf with the pros, anything. He sang like Sinatra, danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano. Sensational! What a guy, eh?”

Passenger : “Sounds like he was someone really special, then”

Cabbie : “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He’d remember everyone’s birthday or anniversary. He knew all about dining out, which wines to order, which cutlery to use, all that stuff. And he could fix
anything, he was an expert electrician, carpenter, plumber and so on. Me, I change a fuse and it knocks out all the lighting in the street. Not Frank Feldman, he got everything right”.

Passenger : “Wow, some guy then!”

Cabbie : “And he always knew the quickest way to get from A to B, avoiding traffic jams, not like me. I always seem to get stuck in them”.

Passenger : “Mmmm. There aren’t many like him around”.

Cabbie : “And he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back, even when she was wrong. He was always immaculately dressed, too. Shoes always polished, clothes always exactly right for the occasion – he was just the perfect gentleman. Never made a mistake. Nobody could ever measure up to Frank Feldman”.

Passenger : “An amazing fellow! How did you meet him?”

Cabbie : “Well, I never actually met Frank”

Passenger : “Well, how do you know so much about him, then?”

Cabbie : “Because I married his widow, that’s how”.

Hope this started your day with a bit of a giggle- me I'm off doggy walking in the rain!!

This is the post script joke

The Frog

A guy is 71 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."
He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

I got this one from Embee!!

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At 30/5/07 09:39, Blogger Beccy said...

I haven't heard the first joke but I featured Frank on my second witty wednesday!

At 30/5/07 12:35, Blogger The very nice man said...

Regards the first joke . . I am not a dentist but if I were, I'd be a really bad one, heehee!!

At 30/5/07 12:42, Blogger ChrisB said...

Beccy oh dear another senior moment, I will have to check all yours now before I post. I won't remove this one but will add some more.

Erik I think there will be a lot of bad dentists!!!

At 30/5/07 13:27, Blogger Beccy said...

Lol mum, haven't heard that one!

At 30/5/07 13:49, Blogger Asha said...

LOL!! So true about the typical Dentist!:))

At 30/5/07 16:28, Blogger ChrisB said...

beccy wheeew found one at last!!

asha glad it made you laugh.

At 30/5/07 17:08, Anonymous Karmyn R said...

Thanks for the giggles today!

At 30/5/07 18:52, Blogger john.g. said...

Good for embee!!

At 30/5/07 23:34, Anonymous Christine said...

Those are really funny! Thank you so much for the laughs! :)
The first one is a riot.

Have a wonderful day!

At 31/5/07 04:23, Blogger my4kids said...

The first one I hadn't heard before it was great for a chuckle this evening. I've seen the other two and they are funny also.

At 31/5/07 04:47, Blogger Anvilcloud said...

They're all good, but I really like the Frank one.

At 31/5/07 14:41, Blogger Little Miss Moi said...

Dear chrisb. The talking frog joke is molto funny!

At 31/5/07 15:51, Blogger Pamela said...

In order for me to tell my FROG joke, it has to be in person. I can't do the actions on blog.

So, it's a date ? ? ? ha ha

At 31/5/07 17:05, Blogger The Artist formerly Known as Purpleworms (!) said...

I liked the frog one too and by the way - I tagged you for Nicole P's meme. (Lucky you!! But I'm interested to know 8 unusual things about you! )

At 31/5/07 17:35, Blogger CPA Mom said...

the dentist one made me laugh out loud!

At 31/5/07 18:11, Blogger ChrisB said...

karmyn, Christine, my4kids I will be thinking of this next time I visit the dentist hope I don't choke!

john he has his moments!!

anvilcloud- agreed even if beccy got there first with publishing it- I knew I'd read it somewhere !!

little miss moi I wonder what embee is telling me!

pamela you could always make a little video!!

wendy- i'll be over to see what I have to do later- I still have 'the soul' to do!

cpa mom- i'm wondering if I should share that one with my dentist as he has a good sense of humour

At 31/5/07 18:55, Blogger Beckie said...

I thought all three were very funny - I especially liked the dentist one.

At 31/5/07 22:46, Blogger ChrisB said...

beckie that seems to be one that has not done the rounds before!

At 1/6/07 17:18, Anonymous elena jane said...

lol, funny!!! i love reading these witty wednesdays, even if i don't always get to comment or get here ON an actual wednesday :)

At 1/6/07 19:17, Blogger ChrisB said...

elena jane I can no longer get to all the blogs I want to read every day plus I've been having broadband problems for the past few days which has curtailed my reading.


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