Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Witty Wednesday # 49


My rocking friend Pamela sent me this one~ it's hilarious :)
My Dear Honey,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset I shall be home before midnight.'

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small
difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Las Vegas Churches

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS, BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.
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THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.
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YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU? (No LOL I didn't!!!)

GOTCHA!........Yes it did I'm laughing ha ha ha :) I bet you can guess who sent me this corny one!


Archives:
2007: Fun Monday 17~ Will you join me for coffee!!

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22 Comments:

At 14/5/08 09:45, Blogger Aoj & The Lurchers said...

*chuckling!*

 
At 14/5/08 12:08, Anonymous Grannymar said...

Now I am set up for the day! Thanks Chris.

 
At 14/5/08 12:30, Blogger Asha said...

Haha! Serves him right!! You know my hubby calls me "old and reliable!" and I am only 44 and don't even feel that age!;D

 
At 14/5/08 13:41, OpenID marmiteandtea said...

LOL! As I spat tea all over the computer again! T looked at me and said "is that a Chris joke?" You are now a Wednesday "event" in our house :)

 
At 14/5/08 15:24, Blogger thefoodsnob said...

Ha, great laughs!

Lisa

 
At 14/5/08 15:50, Anonymous Karmyn R said...

That first one has a GREAT punchline!!!!!

 
At 14/5/08 18:26, Blogger lisa marie said...

Chip Monks! Hahahahaha

 
At 14/5/08 19:48, Blogger john.g. said...

Hee,hee! I'll get some new jokes to you soon!

 
At 14/5/08 19:50, OpenID daffy said...

I loved the first one!
I've seen a similar before, I'll have to have a search for it for you!
thank you!

 
At 14/5/08 19:56, Blogger Alison said...

those are both great Chris, but I like the husband/wife one the best!!!

 
At 14/5/08 20:19, Blogger Julie said...

Excellent funnies!

 
At 14/5/08 20:54, Blogger storyteller said...

Thanks for the laughter this afternoon! Both made me chuckle and that's always a good thing ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

 
At 14/5/08 22:36, Blogger mjd said...

Great, very funny...

 
At 14/5/08 23:10, Blogger Betty said...

That was a cute and funny post for today, Chris. You mean they have churches in Vegas, lol?

 
At 14/5/08 23:42, Blogger aims said...

And here I was trying to figure out where all the churches were in Vegas and so definately didn't see it coming! Excellent excellent!

 
At 15/5/08 02:19, Blogger Zoomie said...

My Dad would have loved this joke - too bad he's already in heaven!

 
At 15/5/08 04:19, Blogger elena jane said...

lol, i love that.....and the chip monk...funniest one :-)

 
At 15/5/08 05:52, Blogger bichonpawz said...

hahahahahahah! This is very funny and nope...never saw it coming!

 
At 15/5/08 06:22, Blogger Pamela said...

I must tell my catholic friend the chipmonk joke.

 
At 15/5/08 11:56, Anonymous Gunfighter said...

Now THAT was funny.

 
At 15/5/08 12:16, Blogger Steffi said...

Funny Witty wednesday!

 
At 15/5/08 12:37, Blogger frannie said...

you totally got me on that one!!!

 

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