Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Witty Wednesday # 25 Have a Scary Halloween


I had to mark the day so found a Halloween joke site that I could share.


Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries...

What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball...

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...

What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein...

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel...

What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane...

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds...

What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime...

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...

What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation...
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As I was going around the supermarket I saw this corn and a whole section devoted to Halloween costumes (the most I've ever seen) all at rock bottom prices (like £3 to £6 ($6-$12) an absolute bargain!


I've just realised it's past midnight so it's already All hallows Eve.
Archives:
October 31st 2006: Halloween

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28 Comments:

At 31/10/07 01:47, Anonymous Karmyn R said...

You have just made my kids evening with these jokes!!!

Happy Halloween!

 
At 31/10/07 02:21, Blogger Sandy said...

Happy, happy Hallowe'en!

 
At 31/10/07 07:57, Blogger ChrisB said...

karmyn glad they enjoyed the jokes :)

 
At 31/10/07 08:47, Anonymous Misslionheart said...

Dreadful!

Happy Hallowe'en!

 
At 31/10/07 09:11, Anonymous Christine said...

Happy Halloween,chrisb!

I'll have to share these jokes with the kids!! :)

 
At 31/10/07 09:50, Anonymous EmBee said...

The Heck with the kids, they are going round the mine like hot cakes. Love

 
At 31/10/07 09:55, Blogger ChrisB said...

misslionheart and christine thank you.

embee I hope you noticed I stayed up to post early just so you would have something to read!

 
At 31/10/07 12:19, Blogger Alix said...

Brilliant I like the blood vessel one best.
Happy Halloween!

 
At 31/10/07 13:50, Blogger Asha said...

I posted those jokes from the same website and linked it too.They are hilarious. Enjoy Halloween!:))

 
At 31/10/07 14:00, Blogger thefoodsnob said...

Great jokes!
Happy Halloween.

Lisa

 
At 31/10/07 14:09, Anonymous nikki said...

These jokes are so cute and clean! And I liked them! Amazing!

Have a great Halloween.

 
At 31/10/07 14:57, Blogger Beccy said...

I've been looking for a skeleton costume for Ben!

 
At 31/10/07 15:50, Blogger Debs said...

Love the jokes!! :)

Happy Halloween. :)

 
At 31/10/07 15:57, Blogger Beckie said...

....a cereal killer! That was funny.

 
At 31/10/07 16:12, Blogger john.g. said...

Good ones! They would make good cracker jokes!

 
At 31/10/07 16:59, Blogger ChrisB said...

christine hope your kids enjoyed the jokes.

alix I agree that was a good one!

asha what a coincidence!

john they are a a bit corny but quite funny!

beccy I will go shopping tomorrow ready for next year.

 
At 31/10/07 18:16, Blogger bermudabluez said...

Great Jokes! Isn't it amazing how the world seems so much smaller due to the internet?? Have a Happy Halloween Chris!

 
At 31/10/07 19:18, Blogger Sally Lomax said...

That's a good giggle!

 
At 31/10/07 21:31, Blogger my4kids said...

Happy Halloween!
the jokes were great!

 
At 31/10/07 23:33, Blogger lisa's chaos said...

Wish I could have been shopping with you that all looks fun! :)

 
At 1/11/07 00:51, Anonymous min said...

Where do these jokes come from? Every year they're different. I wish I had that job of thinking up new corny Halloween jokes each year.

 
At 1/11/07 01:53, Blogger Julie said...

Love the jokes - I'm going to try some out on my 6yr old tomorrow. Thankfully she's in bed now - after 2 hours of trick or treating.

 
At 1/11/07 05:41, Blogger Pamela said...

I'm going to have to remember those for next year.

We only had one group of trick-or-treaters at our house. Five kids. The hubby put on this outer space mask that is uglier than sin. He opened the door and squated on his haunches like ET. Scared them good, he did.

 
At 1/11/07 16:16, Blogger ChrisB said...

lisa's chaos I wish I could have bought lots they were so cheap, I might go back anf get some for my niece's children for next year.

min I can't even remember them to pass them on let alone think them up from scratch!!

julie hope she enjoys them!

pamela I was really surprised we didn't get any this year. I think all the local children have grown too old.

 
At 1/11/07 20:22, Blogger Amy W said...

Classics that I have to share with Ashley!

 
At 1/11/07 20:39, Blogger Steffi said...

Grteat jokes and nice pictures!Happy belated Halloween ;O)!

 
At 1/11/07 21:23, Blogger Robocop said...

Happy Belated Halloween!

 
At 1/11/07 23:19, Blogger Alix said...

Your name came out the hat for the book,yeah! so send me your address (email on my profile) and I'll send it right over

 

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