Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Witty Wednesday # 3.... 21st Century thinking

I think my hubby should start his own blog of humour he's become a real fan of Merle's when he found her link on my blog. This is another sent to him by a friend and he has now started emailing them to me when he's at work.

A 17 year old girl tells her Mother that she has not had a Period for 2 Months. Very worried the Mum buys a Pregnancy Test Kit from Boots. The Test result proves Positive.

The Mother screams "Who was the filthy Pig who did this to you? I must know."

Nonchalantly the girl picks up the Phone, dials a Number and speaks softly. 30 minutes later there is a ring at the front door bell, the Mother peeps through the window, sees a 2007 Model Ferrari parked in the drive, goes to the door and opens it to be greeted by a mature and distinguished looking man with slightly greying hair, expertly coiffured, attired in an Armami suit, with gold rings adorning his fingers and an expensive watch around his wrist. He kisses her extended hand and enters the house.

He, the Mother, Father and Girl sit in the humble lounge to discuss the problem facing them all.

The man speaks first and says "I appreciate the problem, I cannot marry your daughter as my personal circumstances would not permit it, you can be however assured that I will take 100% charge and cover all and any costs, now and in the future, and for the rest of her and the unborn Baby's life."

The Parents nod approvingly.

He continues "Also, and in addition, if the Baby is a Girl I will settle 2 large Department Stores upon her, a Town House and a Beach front Villa in the West Indies and a £2,000,000.00 Bank Account and £3,000.00 per month rising by £500.00 per month for every year of her Life. If the Baby is a Boy, he will be bequeathed 2 Factories and a £4,000,000.00 Bank Account and a Mansion in the Country, plus £4,000.00 per month. With annual raises the same as the girl. If they are Twins, each Twin will receive a Factory, Town House, a Yacht and £2,000,000.00 each, plus £1,500.00 per month, plus similar annual raises - - - - - - However if there is a miscarriage, well to be perfectly honest, I am not sure what to do then?"

At this point the father of the girl, both he and his wife had remained silent and dumb — struck through all of this, unbelieving what they were being told, sprang to his feet, placed a hand firmly on both of the man's shoulder and tells him, shaking him fiercely and shouting at him, telling the scared man what he must do:-

Scroll down a little bit.

Scroll down a teeny bit more.

Scroll down just a shade more.


"You must make love to her again!" (was it a bit too obvious!!!)


As I was preparing this post yesterday, I happened to be listening to the Chris Evan radio show and he posed a question that struck me as being rather amusing so I'm going to put the same question to you to see if you can come up with an answer (hopefully) without googling it. Sorry no prizes for this one.

Q: How did the sirloin steak get its name?

I'll post the answer tomorrow.

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At 18/4/07 07:42, Blogger my4kids said...

I think I might have said the same thing as the mother or father..... maybe?

At 18/4/07 08:22, Blogger Beccy said...

Legend has it that an English king, said to be Henry VIII, James I or Charles II, liked the steak so much, he knighted it, giving it the name "Sir Loin." The table where this event is said to have taken place can be seen at Hoghton Tower in Lancashire. But according to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word comes from French and simply means "above the loin."

The story that James I knighted the loin steak is taken from a tale relating to James' generosity in giving friends (and those who would pay the sum of £50) a knighthood.

Not obvious to me but I don't think too much just buey reading to get to the punchline!

At 18/4/07 08:51, Blogger Little Miss Moi said...

Dear chrisb. I didn't get it! I'm slow with jokes. giggle giggle.

Don't know about sirloin but can't wait to hear if beccy is right. I love trivia like this. The french version sounds boring.

At 18/4/07 12:31, Anonymous EmBee said...

I do not know how it got its name and unfortunately I cannot remember what it tastes like. Love

At 18/4/07 18:08, Blogger frannie said...

I'm going to join witty wednesday this week-- hope that's ok

At 18/4/07 19:20, Blogger ChrisB said...

my4kids yes it might be very tempting.

embee poor deprived you!!

little miss moi see you tomorrow

frannie I'm delighted and I'm coming over to have a laugh.

At 18/4/07 20:31, Anonymous Karmyn R said...

That got a chuckle out of me.

At 19/4/07 09:33, Blogger Beccy said...

Hey my comment about dad not getting any dinners for a week never got published!

At 19/4/07 09:43, Blogger ChrisB said...

beccy I want to know what you said send it again; I've found that I've left comments on a couple of blogs and they do not appear. Strange isn't it.

At 19/4/07 11:13, Blogger ChrisB said...

karmyn I don't think it was the best of post considering the sad time it is.


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