Witty Wednesday # 116
I cannot remember who I borrowed this one from so my apologies for not giving you a mention. It could be one of three people and I don't want to get it wrong. If you let me know I'll add a PS.
Borrowed from Merle
"When to start cussing."
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started cussing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'a*s'. The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast. he replies, "Aw hell Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK ! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor gets up and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear end with every step. She locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out."
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat a*s it won't be Cheerios."
A blonde gets home from shopping and hears strange noises coming
from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband
naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" she asks. "I think I am having a heart attack." cries
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she is
dialling, her four year old son comes up and says, "Mommy, Mommy,
Auntie Shirley is hiding in your wardrobe and she's got no clothes on."
The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the
bedroom, right past her husband, rips open the wardrobe door and
sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.
"You rotten Bitch," she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack,
and you're running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids."