Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Witty Wednesday # 71 Love Story, Marriage Guidance, Erectrician


My friend Daffy provided me with all of today's material. Thank you Daffy.

The love story of Ralph and Edna.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
*********************************
Marriage Guidance

Jackie and her husband Mark went for marriage guidance after 25 years of marriage.

Jackie complained of neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable.

After listening for some time the therapist got up walked round his desk and after asking Jackie to stand up, took her in a forceful embrace and kissed her passionately as her bemused husband watched on.

Jackie sat down in a trance and the therapist returned to his chair

"This is what your wife needs 3 times a week can you do it?".

Mark thought for a minute then replied "Well, I can drop her off on Mondays and Wednesdays but I play golf on Fridays".
*********************************

'If the light stays on for more than 4 hours, call your "erectrician.'

Hope I've managed to make you smile. I know most of America will be smiling today because they have a new President!



Archives:
2007: Holiday Traditions

2006: Beautiful Sunset for Guy Fawkes Night

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14 Comments:

At 5/11/08 11:08, Blogger Sally said...

I loved the mental home one! That was hilarious.

 
At 5/11/08 12:30, Blogger MarmiteToasty said...

LOL Ive heard the mental home story before but it still made me smile....

I LOVE the light switch lmfao hahahahaha

x

 
At 5/11/08 12:52, Blogger Steffi said...

Funny stories!
Have a nice Wednesday!

Steffi

 
At 5/11/08 12:59, OpenID daffy said...

*whistles*
:o)
The light switch sure makes me smile....

 
At 5/11/08 13:42, Anonymous nikki said...

Love the first joke! Cute!

 
At 5/11/08 16:35, OpenID marmiteandtea said...

They were great, Happy Wednesday!

 
At 5/11/08 16:45, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the jokes and adored the pics from yesterdays blog!

 
At 5/11/08 16:47, Blogger Flower Design Jane said...

What an excellent blog, love all the brilliant distractions.

 
At 5/11/08 18:18, Blogger Sabrina said...

Funny funny!!!

 
At 6/11/08 02:33, Blogger karisma said...

Haha! Cute switch! My fav this week is the one about the wife!

 
At 6/11/08 03:22, Blogger A Spot of T said...

That would be a perfect switchplate for...well I was going to say Gregg's garage. But now that I think about it he probably wouldn't like it at all. Maybe one with boobs on it, yes.

 
At 6/11/08 14:20, Blogger Debbie said...

Love that light switch!! Hilarious! LOL

 
At 6/11/08 16:25, Blogger Beckie said...

The mental story is still making me laugh.

 
At 6/11/08 17:33, Anonymous grace said...

Who is hosting,Jan at http://lifeaccordingtojanandjer.blogspot.com/ has as assignment up too!!

 

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