Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Witty Wednesday # 94

You can blame John for this one when you groan!

Brain Transplant:

In the Hospital relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

'The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.

It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.

Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves..'

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news.

After a great length of time, someone asked,

'Well, how much does a brain cost?'

The doctor quickly responded,

'$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.'

The moment turned awkward.

Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

'Why is the male brain so much more?'

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group,

'It's just standard pricing procedure.

We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used.'
AND from Wendy comes the 'Quote of the day':

Behold the Woman

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.
You may wonder or not why I'm very late in getting this post published today. Well I have my grandson and his girlfriend staying for a couple of days, so I had a very busy day preparing the house and then this afternoon collecting them from Bristol airport.

They settled in and sampled my Lemon Cake, and we later enjoyed a curry for dinner. They decided to go for a walk in the local park before it got too dark, and returned safely. It took me back to the time when my girls were teenagers; I always felt anxious until they were safely home.
I was allowed to take a couple of photos with Dillon's new Sony camera and it is very good. I now see why my little point and shoot (much as I like it for all the convenience) leaves a lot to be desired.
So Beccy if you read this I'm taking good care of them.

2008: Not what I planned
2007: What Mess

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At 15/4/09 21:51, Blogger Asha said...

Haha!! We women use our brains so much that we are the most stressed out humans too!

At 15/4/09 23:36, Blogger WT said...

This post is totally sexist!!

When you say "getting the house ready" does that mean you were installing locks on the bedroom doors?

At 15/4/09 23:46, Blogger ChrisB said...

I blame others for sending them to me.

Ha Ha at the moment they are watching TV and I'm wondering whether to go to bed before them!

At 16/4/09 04:12, Blogger Pamela said...

grandson with a girlfriend. I wonder how long before that will be happening at my house.

I'll come to you for advice.

At 16/4/09 20:31, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a hoot. John has some good uns doesn't he. :o)

At 17/4/09 14:39, Anonymous Embee said...

Ther was a fairly old story about the cannibal coming home and asking what was for dinner to which his woman replied Arms and Legs Stew. He said I am sick of arms and legs stew why can't we have something else for a change. The wife passed over the purse and said in the time honoured method of all these stories - you do the shopping.
So he went of to the butcher and said what have you got for me? Ive got some nice arms and legs you could make a stew with!!! I am sick of arms and legs stew is there not something else. Well said the butcher I do have some Brains. How much says our cannibal. Well I have some quite good men's brains at 75 pence a pound and some women's brains at four pounds fifty a pound. Why so much for the female's brains say our chap. The butcher replied - look at the number we have to kill to get a pound!!! What goes round comes round!!!!

At 18/4/09 15:58, Blogger ChrisB said...

Pamela the years gallop by; you will be surprised the girlfriend stage arrives in the blink of an eye.


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