Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Witty Wednesday # 89 Puns

Thanks for these John


1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Well they made me laugh but then I'm easily pleased!!!

2008: Sausage and Leek Hash

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At 11/3/09 08:50, Blogger Mal's Team Gherkin said...

Thanks for the giggles today, ma'am :)

At 11/3/09 09:34, Blogger the mother of this lot said...

That was certainly a 'Witty Wednesday'!

At 11/3/09 11:36, Blogger Asha said...

Haha!! I love the #23!!

At 11/3/09 16:09, Anonymous jill said...

tee hee

At 11/3/09 20:15, Anonymous Karmyn R said...

Thanks for the snorts today!

At 12/3/09 02:08, OpenID cholericjournal said...

ahahahaha!!a lot of enlightenment for my boring soul!

At 12/3/09 08:52, Blogger ChrisB said...

cholericjournal thanks for dropping see you on plurk later.

At 13/3/09 02:01, Blogger lisaschaos said...

I can always count on you for a laugh or two. :) I love the racing silk worms. :)


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