Witty Wednesday # 73

Daffy told me about this:

New Seat Belt Law that becomes effective July 15, 2008

The national Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt.

Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed.

Correct installation is illustrated below...

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Ladies we might feel this should be reversed!!!!!
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John is responsible for this Fishing Tale

Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 20 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that sh * t?'

I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I've stopped fishing.
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and John also sent me this one:

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating.

You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he asks solemnly.

The wife is almost reduced to tears herself, just thinking how caring and sensitive her husband is.

'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses.

The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'

'Yes, I remember,' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'

'I remember that, too' she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...'I would have gotten out today.'

Have fun and keep smiling my friends.

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