Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Witty Wednesday # 63 Helicopter Ride + others


The first one this week is from Embee:

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther,I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'

Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'

To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars.'

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot put the craft through all kinds of maneuvers, but not a word was heard. Up, down, back and forth, even sideways, he did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'

Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'
***********************************************
I don't need to tell you that John sent me these!

A woman was helping her husband set up his new computer, and at the appropriate time in the process, told him he would now need to enter a password.
Something he would use to log-on.
Her husband was in a rather devilish mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in:

P...

E...

N...

I...

S...

His wife (as wives do) fell out of her chair laughing when the computer replied

***PASSWORD INVALID...........NOT LONG ENOUGH*

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Kids Are Quick
____________________________________

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
________________________________ ____________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________

Have a fun the weekend will soon be here!


Archives:
2007: Have you played at Google Earth

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10 Comments:

At 3/9/08 15:49, Blogger john.g. said...

Embees is great!

 
At 3/9/08 16:57, Blogger Jettie said...

OOHh I love that first one!! and the pic!!!!

 
At 3/9/08 18:55, Blogger Julie said...

that first one had me laughing outloud!

 
At 3/9/08 19:08, Blogger Amy W said...

Love the password one!

 
At 3/9/08 23:10, Blogger giants fan said...

I love the one about being dirty because he is closer to the ground!! too cute!!

 
At 4/9/08 04:06, Blogger Team Gherkin said...

Hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Thanks for the smiles!
Cyalayta, Mal :)

 
At 4/9/08 08:39, Blogger bichonpawz said...

LOVE the first one, Chris....very funny!!!

 
At 4/9/08 08:57, Blogger little wanderer said...

heard the first one, but it still makes me smile.
the second one is hilarious!
as for the kids ones what can I say but kids tell the truth!!!!!

 
At 5/9/08 07:42, Blogger Steffi said...

The pic is great and Embees´s post!Funny!

 
At 5/9/08 17:48, Blogger storyteller said...

Ohmygosh … ya got me with that first one for sure … the second made me laugh aloud (startling Molly) … and enjoyed all the ‘kids & teacher’ exchanges. Thanks for the Witty Wednesday chuckles on Friday when I found them ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

 

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