Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Witty Wednesday # 62

Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:-

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

19. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

22. OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

23. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

24. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?

25. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?

Have a fun filled day

2007: Fun Monday #31



At 27/8/08 11:30, Anonymous judyssteapot said...

brilliant - I shall share your thought with my residents next week at the sheltered housing complex...

At 27/8/08 12:07, Blogger Anvilcloud said...

23. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?


At 27/8/08 13:20, Blogger lisaschaos said...

Hilarious! Most of those I hadn't read before. :)

At 27/8/08 16:19, Blogger john.g. said...

That was great!

At 27/8/08 16:37, Blogger Beckie said...

Things that make you go - hmmmm.....

At 27/8/08 16:38, Blogger karisma said...

Very insightful post! LOL!

At 27/8/08 16:54, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent especially No 5 and 23! No 17 is SO true!

At 27/8/08 19:49, Blogger storyteller said...

Ohmygosh … I can hardly type because I’m laughing so hard. Thanks so much for sharing ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

At 27/8/08 20:18, Blogger Sandy said...

not to mention my daughter's all time favorite - braille directions on a drive-thru ATM

At 28/8/08 01:36, Blogger Jettie said...

OOHh those are good!!!!!!!!! makes ya go hum!!!

At 28/8/08 02:46, Blogger BS said...

OH - Beckie took my line - word for word !

At 28/8/08 07:09, Blogger Steffi said...

Really good! Great to read!

At 28/8/08 12:27, Anonymous judysteapot said...

I have nominated you for a wee meme - check my blog entitled 'Where were you when?'

At 28/8/08 14:39, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant! I've pasted and copied and printed these and I will take them to bamboozle my dad!

At 28/8/08 18:01, Anonymous Joy T. said...



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