Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Witty Wednesday # 27



George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" " I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I 'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
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HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2 Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever Your home is your refuge .

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them , at every opportunity.


AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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I'll leave you with Disney's Desperate Housewives! We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
Archives:
November 14th 2006:Dining a la O'Sullivan

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21 Comments:

At 14/11/07 09:31, Anonymous Misslionheart♥ said...

'You're as old as the man you feel'



I'll always feel a couple of years younger!

 
At 14/11/07 09:44, Blogger ChrisB said...

mislionheart Hehe very good :)

 
At 14/11/07 10:46, Anonymous EmBee said...

A Man is not old when his hair turns grey, And a man is not old when his teeth decay, but a man is on his way to his long last sleep when his mind makes appointments his body can't keep.
Very deep very good advice great fun.
Another view from the lurker!!! Love

 
At 14/11/07 11:28, Blogger Tiger Lamb Girl said...

When I turned 40 my daughter gave me a card that said I was celebrating being '18 yrs old with 22 years of experience'.
:)

I love what mislionheart said, lolol.

 
At 14/11/07 13:18, Blogger Asha said...

It's scary Chris! I am pushing 40s now! Ah!!!!;D
Great advise, grumpy people will pull you down!!

 
At 14/11/07 13:35, Blogger Steffi said...

Great post and list,Chris.Yes,I agree too: You are as old as you feel. Sometimes I feel me already old with my 40 years and for the kids we are in such age are already really old.
Have a nice day!

Steffi

 
At 14/11/07 14:41, Anonymous Lisa said...

Thanks, Chris!
Lots to think about as I 'push' 40!

 
At 14/11/07 14:53, Blogger Alix said...

Brilliant post Chris - I love it. I'm copying that last line to go on my fridge along with the rest of my inspirational quotes!

 
At 14/11/07 15:29, Blogger Beccy said...

So will I misslionheart!

 
At 14/11/07 15:51, Blogger john.g. said...

You're as old as the woman you feel! Touche.

 
At 14/11/07 16:00, Blogger ChrisB said...

embee I do believe I've heard that one before!!

TLG I must remember that one!

Asha you'll never catch up with me now I've MADE it past 60!!

steffi and lisa you are mere babes compared to me!

Alix wish I could take the credit for this quote!

john trust you (laughing)

 
At 14/11/07 17:01, Anonymous Karmyn R said...

Pushing 40 - so true for me.

good post!

 
At 14/11/07 18:42, Blogger her indoors said...

oh all so true! and you never say 'i wish i was 30/40/50 again' do you but you say 'i wish i was 18/21 again'!

 
At 14/11/07 19:10, Blogger Amy W said...

I especially love the Disney Desperate Housewives!!

 
At 14/11/07 20:34, Blogger frannie said...

great advice for everyone!

for while, I didn't celebrate birthdays-- I celebrated "anniversary's" of my 21st b-day. I would tell people it was the 7th anniversary of my 21st birthday... but I got over it.

 
At 15/11/07 02:26, Blogger Barbara said...

I've caught upon all your posts Chris. Love Granny's new teapot, we never eat brussels sprouts ( served them once and never again) and I'm envious of your fungi foraging adventure.

 
At 15/11/07 10:45, Blogger ChrisB said...

Barbara I'm off to see Sam next week.

 
At 16/11/07 08:19, Blogger Pamela said...

Auntie Fern will be 99 in March.
She has such a lovely outlook on life. I know thats the secret.

 
At 16/11/07 08:20, Blogger Pamela said...

oh... misslionheart made my day.
But I won't tell the hubby about it.
he might try to put a WO in that sentence.

 
At 16/11/07 09:18, Blogger ChrisB said...

Pamela your aunt sounds a wonderful lady. My mother is only going to be 84 in Dec but she says she's planning on being around another few years. Many of her father's family lived well into 90's and some over a 100.

 
At 16/11/07 15:58, Blogger The Artist formerly Known as Purpleworms (!) said...

The women in your cartoon would be the first friends I would ditch because of bad attitudes (re your tips for living longer).

Not funny, John - that's why so many old men leave us old women for those younger ones.

 

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