Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Witty Wednesday #18

What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wondered about people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula which might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K is
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E is
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E is
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T is
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND look how far ass*kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bull*shit and Ass*kissing which will put you over the top.

****************************************************************
Did you know:
Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana

*****************************************************************
In Praise of Drink.
There are many good reasons for drinking and one has just come into my head. If a man cannot drink whilst he is living how the heck can he drink when he is dead!!
(One of embee's)

Enjoy your day :)

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9 Comments:

At 5/9/07 09:40, Anonymous EmBee said...

Re In praise of drink, my uncle Wallis always used to say "Here's success to temperence and down with drink" Love

 
At 5/9/07 10:44, Blogger Tiger Lamb Girl said...

I'm really liking the 100% one, lol!

 
At 5/9/07 14:04, Blogger Asha said...

100% points to you and Embee in my book on Wednesdays!:))

 
At 5/9/07 14:08, Anonymous Lisa said...

I love the 100% one, too much truth there not to be funny!

 
At 5/9/07 14:31, Blogger frannie said...

funny!

 
At 6/9/07 07:15, Blogger Pamela said...

embee's quote was most enlightening.

 
At 6/9/07 08:12, Blogger ChrisB said...

pamela embee's dad and uncle were full of their little sayings. I only ever met his uncle wallace the once on his last trip back to this country (he lived in South Africa).

 
At 6/9/07 19:28, Blogger my4kids said...

Love this one and so true!

 
At 6/9/07 20:28, Blogger The Artist formerly Known as Purpleworms (!) said...

Gosh, the fruit flies one cracked me up! I don't know how you'll top that one.

 

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