Friday, July 27, 2007

Open letter

Dear Mr A**h*l* Motorist
Yes I am talking to you, the idiot who has just ploughed (at speed) through a very deep puddle that had formed around a storm drain just along the road from my house.

1 If you didn't see the road was flooding then I suggest a trip to the optician pronto.

2 If you don't know how to drive in poor conditions or know how to circumnavigate a puddle I suggest that you give up driving henceforth.

Until you came by I was congratulating myself that although it was bucketing down my large umberella was keeping me relatively dry. I was on the way back from the local monthly market when along you come with contempt for the pedestrian. Having drenched me, and my shopping, you didn't even have the decency to stop and say sorry.

Yours grumpily.

PS I was so wet I had to strip off my trousers (not a pretty sight!) before entering my house. This resulted in a neighbour reporting me for indecent exposure so if you read about this in the local paper you can always seek me out to aplogise!!

By the way I like Thornton chocolates, Freshias and champagne..........

I'm sure you realised the postscript was my little joke that is except the bit about stripping off my trousers!!!



At 27/7/07 12:04, Blogger Barbara said...

If only they'd had a personal number plate you'd have been able to remember the name, track them down and throw a bucket of dirty water over them.

At 27/7/07 12:07, Blogger willowtree said...

Bet they were driving a Range Rover or a Volvo.

Gee Chris, that sure is some vitriol ;) I've said worse things to a nun.

At 27/7/07 13:28, Blogger Asha said...

Sorry about that Chris.Glad you are safe although got drenched.
I am trying hard not to laugh at the image of you stripping in the front door and neighbors peeking out for a look!!;D
Hope he realizes and apologizes to you!

At 27/7/07 14:27, Blogger Merle said...

Hi Chris ~~ Sorry you got drenched.
Some people are so inconsiderate and
think it's funny to drive through puddle and splash everyone.
Glad you liked the Yucca plant. It was past it's best when I saw it at my cousin's place. The wind had played havoc with it. Take care,
Love, Merle.

At 27/7/07 14:38, Blogger Beccy said...

Laughing at you stripping off in the porch!!!

Of course it could have been an accident...I did that once by accident, I didn't realise how big the puddle was and how huge a splash it would make!

At 27/7/07 15:39, Blogger Sam said...

I didn't know Stuart was visiting Bristol?

I saw him drive on purpose through a puddle next to a bus stop, spraying about half a dozen people with a 6 foot wave.

At 27/7/07 15:58, Anonymous Lisa said...

You think that only happens in the movies, and then, bam!
Glad you're ok, doubt if they noticed, though, sorry! Inconsiderate people are inconsiderate about everything.

At 27/7/07 16:10, Blogger Devon said...

Sorry about your mishap. If that had happened in California, the driver would definitely be in a BMW. Those cars have the most self absorbed drivers in the state.

But this would all be fiction as it doesn't rain here! =(

At 27/7/07 16:39, Blogger john.g. said...

Hee, hee. Did you get HER number, because that is a road traffic offence? Oh, did I say her?

At 27/7/07 16:41, Blogger Anvilcloud said...

Exasperating on one had, but on the other hand it is blog fodder. :)

At 27/7/07 17:29, Blogger ChrisB said...

barbara I was thinking worse than that at the time!!

WT I should have got you to write it for me!!

Asha I've calmed down now of course but not fun at the time!

merle do you know after I saw your Yucca I then saw another which was an odd coincidence!

beccy Ok it might have been but I'm not convinced!

sam now I remember where I'd seen the guy before!! no Stu wouldn't do that to me or maybe it was revenge for beating him at tennis all those years ago!!

lisa I always found it funny in films so why didn't I laugh!!

devon I would gladly send you some of our rain!!

John g I was too busy fuming to get HIS number!!

AC you are absolutely right because I came straight in and put pen to paper (figuatively speaking).

At 27/7/07 18:15, Blogger my4kids said...

Oh no Chris! That would not be fun! I hope your shopping wasn't ruined.
I was giggling thinking of you getting reported for indecent exposure though.

At 27/7/07 18:18, Blogger The very nice man said...

Pfffheehee!! Sorry!! Not funny (gnahaha) . . hmm (cough) . . not funny at all!! (Bnnhhaaahaha!!)

At 27/7/07 19:15, Blogger ChrisB said...

my4kids I'm glad no one really noticed me- well actually I don't know it that's the case but my neighbour would be too much of a gent to comment!!

erik it's funny today :)

At 27/7/07 20:39, Anonymous enidd said...

actually chris, enidd saw a picture of you on the bbc - so it's not just the local press.

At 27/7/07 21:43, Blogger ChrisB said...

hehehe I didn't think anyone would recognise the 'mooning' view enidd!!

At 28/7/07 13:25, Blogger frannie said...

oh, no!! how horrible. I think I would have threw a fit right there!

At 28/7/07 13:56, Blogger ChrisB said...

frannie if he had stopped I think he would have got verbal abuse and I don't normally swear!!

At 28/7/07 23:27, Blogger Pamela said...

I've had splattered slacks heading for work for the very same reason.

drivers with cranial anal inversions.

At 29/7/07 10:17, Blogger ChrisB said...

pamela I can tell you I could wring the water out of my trousers so it was lucky I was close to home.

LOL now I must remember 'cranial anal inversions' for future use!


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