Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Witty Wednesday # 4....What's the problem Eve

What's the problem Eve:

Lord, I have a problem
" What's the problem, Eve? "

"I know you created me, provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious snake, but I'm just not happy."

"And why is that, Eve? "
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you".

"Man? What is that Lord? "
"A flawed creature . . . he'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he'll need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great, " says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch, Lord? "
"Well. . . .you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that Lord? "
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant! , self admiring. . . . . so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret. . . . . . . you know, woman to woman."

Grandma changed

In the dim and distant past
When life's tempo wasn't so fast,
Grandma used to rock and knit,
Crochet, tat and baby sit.

When the kids were in a jam,
They could always call on Gram.
But today she's in the gym
Exercising to keep slim.

She's checking the web or surfing the net,
Sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her,
Now that Grandma's off her rocker.
hehehe is this me well I don't 'bet'

I'll leave you with a quote that fits my mood these days!!

The most memorable moments in life can be enjoyed by doing nothing.
--- Sheila Edenfield

So I'm off to do nothing as soon as I've prepared dinner, hung the washing, cleaned the house.............well I might get a few minutes to read the paper!!

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At 25/4/07 12:37, Blogger Beccy said...

Love the first joke mum!

At 25/4/07 13:40, Blogger Asha said...

HAHAHA!!! Chris,I am rolling on the floor at the Eve and Goddess dialogue!!!

At 25/4/07 13:57, Blogger ChrisB said...

beccy I'm waiting to see dad's comment if he makes one!

asha yes I had a good laugh when it was originally sent to me so I felt it was worth sharing.

At 25/4/07 14:09, Anonymous nikki said...

Heard the Eve joke before and it never fails to put a smile on my face!

At 25/4/07 14:40, Anonymous Lisa said...

I'm sure the first one is so funny because it's true!

At 25/4/07 14:47, Anonymous EmBee said...

When you are busy doing your nothing, please add in the several hours you spend blogging and reading blogs and commenting. It will of course be less time when you get your bigger faster better computer up and running complete with some of the stuff that is presently on the slower one. Love

At 25/4/07 14:48, Blogger Sally Lomax said...

It's a woman's lot...........

Loved the Eve joke!!!!! I'll remember that one!

At 25/4/07 15:48, Blogger Little Miss Moi said...

Dear chrisb. Hehehe I almost missed the punchline of the first joke.. but I've told you before that I'm slow on the uptake with the funnies. It was a good one though!

At 25/4/07 17:29, Blogger my4kids said...

Loved the grandma joke!

At 25/4/07 17:32, Blogger mind the gap said...

I love the Eve one! I totally agree with doing nothing - I am fully embracing this since having moved to Kiev!

At 25/4/07 23:36, Blogger willowtree said...

God looked down and saw that Adam was sad. "Adam, I will make a woman for you" he said.

"What's that?" asked Adam.

God explained that it was a companion that would make him happy, love and obey him, cook for him, treat him with respect and above all not complain endlessly.

"Wow God, that sounds great, what will that cost?" he asked.

"An arm and a leg", replied God.

"Hmmm" thought Adam, "What can I get for a rib?"

At 26/4/07 13:34, Blogger Luciluna said...

Loved the Eve gospel, teehee. I'm very sorry about your toe. I hate it when I do that, 'cause then it hurts to wear shoes. You sound like you've been a busy bee.

At 26/4/07 16:14, Blogger ChrisB said...

nikki I think most have done the rounds before

lisa yes but we'll keep it to ourselves!

embee we'll have to see about that!

sally there are some who shall remain nameless who will not agree about the eve joke!!

little miss moi I shall have to highlight the punchline!!

my4kids it was the reference to the computer thet really caught me eye!

mind the gap I keep telling myself not to feel guilty after all I worked full time for 33 years( and that's not counting the hours spent caring for home and family.

willowtree I love it !

luciluna thanks for noticing about the toe; it's much better no longer painful and the bruising is subsiding.

At 27/4/07 04:23, Anonymous Karmyn R said...

I'm hoping it was really Adam who bit "the apple" first too.


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