Friday, April 27, 2012

Final Resting Place

As some of you will know I lost my dear mother just before Christmas last year. It was a very sad time, and I hadn't realised just how much I would miss her. She had lived with us for nearly 20 years and had gradually become more dependent on me for support. It had become particularly difficult in her last year as her health deteriorated and her memory became poorer. I know I was often exasperated and short tempered as it felt I never had a moment's peace and everything was geared around my mother's needs. So no I was not always a good daughter but I did my best! I won't go into too much detail about her final weeks which were spent in hospital (she did not always get the best of care) I visited almost every day for 5 weeks, on the 3 days I didn't visit there was always a problem, they lost one set of her teeth, threw away 2 of her nightdresses just to give you an idea. They didn't feed her properly or give her enough to drink (nothing placed within her reach) I ended up taking in food and feeding her myself which worked but not enough to really make a difference. She had her 88th birthday on 8th Dec. and all she wanted was to come home for Christmas and be with the family one last time and sadly this was one wish I could not grant her as she lost the battle in the early hours of Dec 23rd. My mother had a very strong belief, she did her bible readings and prayers many times a day and often talked to her Angels. She had no fear of dying and was really ready to leave this world for the next! We followed her wishes and the lovely Church service was followed by cremation. Her final resting place was to be in a Bluebell Wood (my mother loved the Spring and was particularly fond of Bluebells), a few miles from the place where we grew up. My brother still lives nearby and so last Thursday we went to a spot he had found and said our final goodbyes, knowing she is happy.
Muriel Naomi (Betty) aged 2yrs

On the beach with her mother (centre) and her grandmother.
You can see how much my mother looked like her own mother if you compare this picture with the one above.
A day trip to a local beauty spot was the highlight of my young life. My mother was very fond of her mother-in-law who hired a car once a year to take us on this trip (it was actually only a few miles from home but back in the early 1950's we were happy with simple pleasures).
One of the highlights of of her life was the trip we took to San Fransisco in 2001. At the grand age of 77 it was the first time she had ever flown or been so far from home. Recently I found a little notebook where she had written about it and her excitement and pleasure was evident.
Enjoying her regular visit to the hairdresser.
A few photos of the Bluebell woods where we hope she will be happy.

Aged 78years
Aged 86 years
Last photo taken in hospital with my brother.
Muriel Naomi (Margaret) Couch (Betty) 8/12/23- 23/12/2011. Loved and missed by family and friends.

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At 28/4/12 11:26, Blogger ChrisB said...

I do not understand why when I wrote in paragraphs it did not post that way :(

At 28/4/12 15:32, Blogger john.g. said...

Chris, that was lovely! xx

With regard to the paragraphs, I had the same trouble. Click on HTML before you type.

At 29/4/12 10:34, Anonymous Brooke - Little Miss Moi said...

Dear Chris, I had no idea your mother had passed away. I'm so sorry for your loss. As a reader of your blog for quite a few years now, I know how much she was a part of your everyday life, living with you and even suggesting blog post ideas every now and then! This post was a beautiful tribute. xxoo

At 29/4/12 19:09, Blogger ChrisB said...

LMM thank you for remembering my mother she was always eager to know if anyone had commented about her! x

At 29/4/12 19:32, Blogger Zoomie said...

Now, that's a beautifully loving tribute to a lovely lady. My heart goes out to you. I'm glad about the bluebell wood - I know that's the perfect resting place for her. You did such a good thing for her as the last act of a loving daughter (and son).

At 29/4/12 19:59, Blogger cookiecrumb said...

You were far more generous than you know. Lovely tribute, and thanks for the Bluebell photos.

At 29/4/12 20:33, Blogger Beccy said...

I miss granny so much.

At 29/4/12 22:43, Blogger Barbara said...

That is a lovely resting place for her Chris. How wonderful she was able to make a trip to San Francisco.

At 29/4/12 23:09, Anonymous Michelle said...

I am a friend of Sam's, and she posted this link on facebook. What a beautiful tribute to your mother! The photos of her final resting place remind me of a magical scene in the movie Howard's End where they are walking through a field of bluebells. I believe it is a dream sequence, and that glorious image is still etched into my memory 20+ years after seeing the movie. What a very special place for you to visit and enjoy cherished memories of your mother. Many sympathies to you and your family.

At 7/5/12 11:01, Blogger ChrisB said...

Thank you zoomie, CC, Barbara and Michelle. It's good to know I fulfilled her final wishes.

At 2/6/12 22:32, Blogger Jill said...

I didn't realize your mother had passed, either, just found out you were updating your blog again! happy to see you back!

At 3/6/12 10:32, Blogger ChrisB said...

Jill I dip in and out these days!


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