Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Witty Wednesday # 23


This was sent to me by Amy w over at A Family Story and it made me laugh.....

Two Women Talking In Heaven:

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I 'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?


2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I
started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds . I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer........ we'd both still be alive
*****************************************************
15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MUM, YOUR DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC. sent by a non blogging friend:

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
*****************************************************
Now who's trying to tell me something!!!!

Exercise Routine
(If you're over 40, you might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some.)

Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!

SCROLL DOWN............





























NOW SCROLL UP.


That's enough for the first day.

Great job.

Have a glass of wine.

Enjoy your day I'm hoping to go 'Fungi Foraging'





Archives:

October 17th 2006:No Archive

Labels:

27 Comments:

At 17/10/07 11:41, Blogger Sally Lomax said...

Fungi foraging?! That's quite brave. How do you know which ones are safe to eat?

Loved the joke!

 
At 17/10/07 11:51, Anonymous Grannymar said...

Now I will be in a cheerful mood for the day.

Thanks for the stories.

 
At 17/10/07 12:22, Blogger ChrisB said...

sally I'm relying on the organiser but I really just want to learn more and take photos and enjoy the walk.

grannymar glad to leave you feeling cheerful :)

 
At 17/10/07 12:26, Blogger Beccy said...

Fungi foraging sounds interesting, who are you going with?

 
At 17/10/07 12:31, Blogger ChrisB said...

beccy a walking group organised by South Glos, for those needing excercise. Tina does the walks sometimes so thought I would give it a try. Trouble is I have to miss swimming!

 
At 17/10/07 13:12, Blogger her indoors said...

had my exercise for the day thankyou lol

 
At 17/10/07 13:18, Blogger ChrisB said...

her indoors you need a drink to recover hehe!

 
At 17/10/07 13:20, Blogger Asha said...

LOL!!! I love te first joke. Hope they don't kill each other all over again there too!:

 
At 17/10/07 13:55, Anonymous EmBee said...

The heck with walking all this mouse work is tiring me out Have a good forage. Love

 
At 17/10/07 14:05, Anonymous Misslionheart♥ said...

Oooh, all that scrolling wore me out. I'm off to bed! lol

 
At 17/10/07 14:29, Anonymous Lisa said...

That's going to be my workout today, thanks!
LOVE the guy things, sad that they're true.
Never been fungi foraging, sounds fun, I can't wait to hear about it.

 
At 17/10/07 14:30, Blogger headless chicken said...

Very funny, especially number twelve!:D

 
At 17/10/07 15:02, Blogger Sandy said...

Very funny. Thank you so much.

 
At 17/10/07 15:43, Blogger john.g. said...

BAAH! xx

 
At 17/10/07 16:34, Blogger la bellina mammina said...

Great one! :-)

 
At 17/10/07 17:14, Blogger Rachel said...

I feel exhausted after all that scrolling!

 
At 17/10/07 18:49, Blogger Tiggerlane said...

Good tales! I'm filing those away, so the next time I am having to argue a point - I will remember his limitations.

 
At 17/10/07 19:04, Blogger elena jane said...

lol, love the one about the 2 women in heaven!!!
and the man one.....i have to print that one out, for all the testosterone in MY house ;-)

 
At 17/10/07 19:22, Anonymous Christine said...

Enjoy your walk!!

Too funny!! I especially liked the one about men!! :)

 
At 17/10/07 22:33, Anonymous Karmyn R said...

Oh that first joke was horrible - horribly funny.

 
At 18/10/07 00:58, Blogger Devon said...

Funny joke! If I weren't so tired from all that exercise, I would go get that glass of wine!

 
At 18/10/07 02:41, Blogger frannie said...

very cute!!

 
At 18/10/07 04:24, Blogger theotherbear said...

Hahaha, I love the exercise routine.

 
At 18/10/07 06:16, Blogger my4kids said...

My kind of excersize. Great jokes!

 
At 18/10/07 11:14, Blogger Tiger Lamb Girl said...

That exercise routine suits me just fine, lol!

 
At 18/10/07 12:06, Blogger ChrisB said...

Thanks for all the comments I think we got plenty of exercise yesterday hehe!

 
At 18/10/07 18:19, Blogger Just Me said...

Love the joke!! :)

 

Post a Comment

<< Home