Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Whose telling Porkies

True Story- I would say someone is telling porkie pies (cockney slang lies) this "story' came from a friend of my hubby I don't always find them funny but there have been a few lately like this one that have given me a really good chuckle - see what you think!! (scoll down slowly)

THE BACON TREE

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death.

They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet".
"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee"

So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".

"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don't forget".

"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".

And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks.
It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"

"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree...........

Ees.....

Ees.....

Ees.....

Ees.....

Ees, a Ham Bush"

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12 Comments:

At 7/3/07 08:43, Blogger Sabrina said...

Thanks for getting my morning started on a great note! I was laughing out loud!

 
At 7/3/07 09:28, Blogger Beccy said...

So will I.

 
At 7/3/07 09:52, Blogger ChrisB said...

sabrina and beccy glad you enjoyed it, enjoy your day. I'm off for a pedicure soon, now I wonder could I make a post out of that!!

 
At 7/3/07 14:07, Blogger Asha said...

Well..Chris,that was hilarious!!:))
Ambush is better than than a Bush on the other side,I think!!;D

 
At 7/3/07 14:32, Anonymous Lisa said...

Loved it! Any Bush joke is
great to me!

 
At 7/3/07 15:56, Blogger Purpleworms said...

I'm with Lisa politically! It was pretty Ham using!
(As was the pun on porkie pies!)

 
At 7/3/07 16:32, Anonymous Karmyn said...

I'm laughing only because it's such a bad joke....I think I've heard it before....but I"m still giggling.

 
At 7/3/07 17:22, Blogger Sam said...

perfect for the year of the pig.

My fridge contains ham bushes and bacon trees 24/7

 
At 7/3/07 17:23, Blogger ChrisB said...

Hi everyone yes it was a bad joke and I guess that's what made it funny.

 
At 7/3/07 20:38, Blogger ChrisB said...

sam you must have been leaving your comment at the same time as I was. I'd forgotten it is the yr of the pig so can take credit for a topical joke.

 
At 7/3/07 21:03, Blogger Barbara said...

I'm very bad at getting jokes, It took Asha's comment "ambush" for me to get it. I was seeing abush with ham slices instead of sizzling bacon.

 
At 8/3/07 07:57, Blogger ChrisB said...

barbara not everything appeals to everyone's sense of humour and I know what you mean I'm sometimes am a bit slow off the mark.

 

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