Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Witty Wednesday # 44

I had a few jokes from Embee this week that I decided I couldn't publish... funny yes but not PC!

However this is one of Embee's that might give you a laugh!


1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no Number 9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a Number 9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself ~ LOL I'm not publicly admitting to any of these well~OK I did check back on no 9 and the rest I hear you say....well maybe just.. a few others apply.........I wonder if anyone else will own up!!!


John dared me to publish this one and I'm not one to resist a challenge so before I get into trouble with both my daughter's (Sam Beccy) you can blame John!

Molly The Camel Captain Stanley was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there. The nervous Sergeant said, "Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have "urges". That's why we have Molly The Camel." Captain Stan says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about "urges", so the camel can stay." About a month later, Captain Stan starts having his own "urges". Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, Captain Stan stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel. When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" No, not really, sir.. "They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are".

I am taking my mother for another hospital checkup this morning and hopefully we will get confirmation that the leg surgery was totally successful.

2007: Fun Monday 12 ~ Embarrassing or what!!

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At 9/4/08 11:22, Anonymous ginger grandma said...

Tee hee. I'll put my hand up to the first part (not the camel story!). It's worrying isn't it, especially since I'm making this comment from work. My addiction is that bad! Best wishes and good luck to your Mum.

At 9/4/08 12:55, Blogger Barbara said...

Oh that camel one made me laugh.
Hope your Mum's visit goes well.

At 9/4/08 13:31, Blogger Alix said...

I did check for Number 9 but that's only because I'm online before having my first cup of tea :)

Great start to my Wednesday as always - thanks!

At 9/4/08 14:12, Blogger katy said...

yep you are right there was no number 9, right again I am laughing at myself!
LOL, glad you took up the dare on the camel joke! very funny.
hope your mum gets on ok at the hospital x

At 9/4/08 14:22, Blogger Anvilcloud said...

Loved this section. So true.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

At 9/4/08 14:40, Anonymous Grannymar said...

Nine? What's the nine about? :lol:

Hope the hospital visit goes well.

At 9/4/08 14:47, Anonymous Anonymous said...

nodding and laughing! Yes I was! :o)
Very funny! Thanks for the afternoon lift Chris! I was just starting to flag!

At 9/4/08 14:57, Blogger Lil Mouse said...

hope your mom's doing well.

i do call if i have a lot of groceries, but its on the way and not while in the driveway. ha!

At 9/4/08 15:18, Blogger la bellina mammina said...

Hope the surgery went well:-)

Those two jokes are just what I needed - thanks for sharing..

At 9/4/08 16:00, Blogger Misty said...

LOVE the wednesday humor, as always! The 2008 thing cracked me up. My husband emailed me from the living room last night (i was in the office working) to tell me he was going to bed and he hoped i slept well... It's less than 12 feet away.

At 9/4/08 16:35, Blogger ChrisB said...

misty your comment is hilarious, my hubby does something similar as he sometimes calls me on his cell from the garden!!

At 9/4/08 17:26, Blogger Betty said...

I loved the joke. I had already seen the list about living in 2008,but it was a good read again. Sometimes I think I'm that addicting to this machine.

At 9/4/08 17:41, Blogger john.g. said...

Chris, I didn't think you would!

Hope your Mum's ok! xx

At 9/4/08 19:24, Anonymous Christine said...

Hehe! I had to laugh at #4, my husband and I email eachother, I'm in the living room, and he's in our bedroom....

Hope you have a good visit with your Mum!

At 9/4/08 19:34, Blogger thefoodsnob said...

I did #8 just the other day, and
the camel one is very funny!


At 9/4/08 19:58, Blogger the mother of this lot said...

I'm definitely living in 2008, and I had a good laugh at the camel!

At 9/4/08 23:41, Blogger Cynthia said...

My kids do crazy things that make us laugh because we realize tat they do them because they have grown up on computers. THe funniest to me is when we are playing a game and after therir turn thye will reach down and completely move their playing piece/card and do something different. I will task what they think they are doing since they already had their turn and they will reply, don't worry mom, I was just using "UNDO"!!!!????!!!!

At 10/4/08 00:00, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I checked for #9 too!!

#3 is familiar.

So is #4. Althought I don't work in an office. My kids will e-mail me and we are sitting in the same room.

I've done #6 and #8 many, many times.

#10 no way. Coffee BEFORE computer.

At 10/4/08 06:54, Blogger Pamela said...

Did you see that new psychological disease... where people are afraid to go out of cell phone range or be apart from it.

Oh,pinch face and laugh at Molly.
Hi Sam, Hi Beccy.

At 10/4/08 07:55, Blogger bermudabluez said...

Nodding to all of them....guilty as charged! Very funny, Chris!! Especially the one where we went for years without cell phones and now we turn around and go home if we forget it!!

At 10/4/08 08:12, Blogger Steffi said...

I hope the surgery went well! My best wishes and good luck!
Your list is great!

At 10/4/08 13:17, Blogger kitten said...

I really giggled about YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when..., but when I read about the camel, I almost lost my dew!

At 10/4/08 15:22, Blogger lisa marie said...

Oh that camel one! oops!

At 11/4/08 01:40, Blogger Zoomie said...

Yes to the list and the camel - my Dad would have loved the camel! And congrats on a full year of blogging!

At 11/4/08 03:32, Blogger frannie said...

too funny!!!

and happy blogiversary!!!

At 12/4/08 09:17, Blogger Joy T. said...

Ohhhh I TOTALLY checked to see if there was a number 9!!


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