Witty Wednesday # 36

I have john to thank for the first one!
WOMEN CAN BE SO INSENSITIVE

Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live.

Given this prognosis, Ralph asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, 'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live.

Could we please do it one more time?' Of course, the wife agrees and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, 'Honey, please... just one more time before I die ?' she says, 'Of course, dear.'

And they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over & falls asleep.

Ralph, however, worried about his impending death, tosses & turns until he's down to 4 more hours.

He taps his wife, who rouses. 'Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could....?'

At this point the wife sits up and says, 'Listen Ralph, I have to get up in the morning... you don't
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Night Stand Photo

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.

She whispers in his ear "That's me before the surgery."
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SMILES
A sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the unbearable.
Author: Moshe Waldoks

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Every tear has a smile behind it.
Author: Iranian Proverb

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A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.
Author: Bugs Baer
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